Sunday, April 26, 2009

How Can I Help

My adventures are less about Grace and more about living with caregivers. The interesting thing is that I was able to share my experiences with a woman taking care of her sister and the common experiences were quite striking.

Her caregiver also talks nonstop. I think there must be some circular breathing techniques that the caregivers are taught so they can spew words perpetually. It is a fascinating skill. I think they research what topics would bore me to death and then dwell on those.

They also have a sixth sense about what I want to do. My friend had the same experience. I am convinced she sits motionless next to Grace all day until I arrive. If I open the refrigerator, suddenly it is imperative that she get into it. If I get near the sink, she MUST rinse out a dish. If I put something in the dishwasher, she needs to add a dish to the rack. If I try to cook, she needs to use the stove AND needs to quiz me about what I am preparing as well as how it is being prepared. If I go into the laundry room... well, you get the picture. I try not to scream, but sometimes it's more than I can handle.

She is also trying to feed me. After being here a full year, she still does not understand that I'm a vegetarian. She also has not caught on that I have never accepted food from her ever... not even once. I was thinking of getting a t shirt made that simply said, "no, thank you."

I had to chuckle as I heard my friend describe how her caregiver just would not stop being involved in everything. It seems like such a little annoyance, but there is no place to hide; this is my home. I stagger home from work, some days, exhausted. I have had meetings back to back; had to think on my feet every minute while processing multiple projects and conversations at the same time. I want to have peace when I come home. Not a chance.