Hobbies

I think going to the bathroom has become a new hobby for my mother (flush optional). She must go about 10 times each hour. This is a mystery to me since she really doesn’t eat or drink hardly anything. I’m not sure what could be coming out if nothing is going in.


Sometimes she remembers to use toilet paper. Sometimes not. Whether or not she remembers, she still wipes. You do NOT want the details. Use your imagination.


She has a perfectly wonderful bathroom in her room, yet her favorite is right off the kitchen. This is fine except she has given up closing doors. So nothing like getting a glass of water and waving hi to a 85 year old woman with her pants around her ankles.


She has a favorite sink too. No, of course it’s not actually in the bathroom; it is in the kitchen. When she shuffles out of the bathroom, she expects anyone at that sink to jump away and yield to her. We have four bathrooms. Ok, two are upstairs and out of reach. But WHY do we have to duck and cover when she is coming to the sink?


The trip from the couch TO the bathroom is part of the fun. On a recent trip she got up and immediately face planted on the floor. Fortunately she was not hurt but the bruise pattern was one above the eye and one right above her lip and below her nose. Unfortunately, it looked exactly like the moustache of Adolf Hitler.

We are not mean people, but it was hard not to giggle.