Sunday, July 6, 2008

Silence

Given a choice between music or television, I am 80/20 going to pick music. Given the choice between television or silence, I am again going with the 80/20 ratio for silence. It’s not that I dislike television. Tivo has empowered me to watch what I want, when I want and skip the stuff I don’t want.

I seem to be cursed when it comes to randomly turning on the television. We have a billion channels, but nothing appeals to me. If someone else turns on the television, somehow they are more likely to find something that interests me. Didn’t help that we changed cable service so the channels were all reassigned. In fact part of me believes that they are continually reshuffled to prevent me from knowing where anything is. Where is my iPod?

Grace loves the sound. She wants the television on all the time. It doesn’t matter what is on, though we try to tune it to shows from days she remembers (old movies, bad sitcoms). She can’t follow the action, doesn’t understand the plot, rarely even faces the television, but it must be on. I long for the silence, the sound of the world through open windows. Where IS that iPod??

As Grace aged, television became more and more important to her. She actually used to have favorite shows, watch the news, change the channel…not anymore. I think it’s just the sound. For someone who never faces the screen, she is amazingly picky about the quality of the image.

Grace’s ability to understand what we say is diminishing as I type. I don’t think it’s a hearing issue as much as a diction issue. Her brain can’t separate the words. How can she possibly understand the dialogues on television? It just isn’t happening.

So why does she need it? I really can’t be sure. But the sound is in our house from the moment she awakes to the time the caregiver leaves at 10 pm. I don’t like it and have been known to walk around the house listening to my iPod.

In the car, I take opportunities to be in as much silence as a car will allow. The wind, the engine, the traffic, yeah, it’s there. But it’s not the television.

I have to go get my iPod now.

2 comments:

Her Serene Highness will do said...

My Dad is the same way. Just before he was diagnosed, he installed TVs in nearly every room of the house, excluding the bathroom. The sets are all on at all times. At the same time, he added phone extensions throughout, this time including the bathroom. I like to think it was a safety thing.

John said...

We miss Grace. It's been almost a full month since we've heard from you. Tell us the stories that didn't make it to press.