I am noticing changes in my daughters.
At first they could hardly look at her. I could see the pain in their faces as they see their grandmother deteriorated. They resented having her here but understood the choice. She was an invader disrupting our house and stealing my time.
It was similar to bringing home a new baby but without the "cute."
But they have changed and I am so proud of them. My younger one answers her questions and supports my efforts. She understands the dementia and doesn't seem angry any more. My older one stays firm without being mean; she backs me up. Their adjustment helps me. It reduces my stress.
It is so unfair to make them deal with this. So unfair to introduce this person that can get nasty, annoying and pathetic. So unfair to make them explain to their friends why Grandma is sitting on the couch with ice cream spilled all down her shirt or shuffling out in her underpants and skinny granny legs. So unfair.
But they love me anyway and put up with the injustice.